Welcome Post and "Mission Statement"

Hello. Welcome to my blog. I hope you have had a wonderful day! Feel free to browse around and peruse what i have to offer to the humble internets!

Okay, that's just bullshit.

I honestly don't know how to start off. I had this idea thirty minutes ago while walking home from the dollar tree from buying a new pair of glasses. You see, my glasses and I have a very unhealthy relationship (their life expectancy tends to approximate that of a common honey bee), and being a twentysomething with a crappy job and a list of talents that aren't readily marketable, it would be absolutely stupid of me to go out and buy expensive glasses every time they break, so i shop cheap for em. Just the other day, I went in and found some glasses that, for $1.10 after taxes, looked EXACTLY like Christian Siriano's $1500 Prada frames. I was overjoyed.

The point of all this? I'm getting to it, you impatient bitch.

Just about every day I browse the internet, visiting fashion blogs like Selectism and The Sartorialist, seeing designer shills extolling the virtue of the latest in ridiculously priced fashion and accessories, all the while telling me how this Dior Homme t-shirt is "a steal at $180". While they can be fun to read, these blogs have just about nothing of use to those of us who don't regularly troll Savile Row for a new bespoke suit for summer. We need a menswear fashion blog for those of us who are either on a budget, or just can't see the point in spending so much on clothes we'll be embarassed to wear next season anyway.

So what can you expect to see here?

Well for one, I'll be making mental notes of everything I see, and any awesome clothes, accessories, gadgets, or other elements of style I see, you'll see. Awesome AND accessible style is out there, and I intend to shed my light upon it. In that spirit, expect to see links and reviews to various web sites, online stores and occasionally other blogs that I think carry the spirit of my mission.

Secondly, I'll occasionally be enlisting the help of my wife Brett to take photos of some choice outfits of my own, because it's one thing to have awesome pieces, and another entirely to know how to make them into an outfit. I'm not saying I've got better style than all's yall's, but I know a thing or two.

Thirdly, because I'm a firm believer in nepotism (unless it's biting me in the ass), I'm gonna feature my wife's artwork. She's an amazing painter who works mostly in the media of acrylics on canvas handbags and canvas shoes (Converse and Vans knockoffs mostly), and I'm gonna give her work some exposure here. Go on and bitch about it all you want, I guarantee you'll like at least SOME of the stuff she makes.

Fourthly, as my readership grows, I'll be asking you guys to contribute as well. Mail me some photos of yourself and your outfits, and I'll critique them and give you your 15 minutes of relative fame. Think of it as What Not To Wear meets VICE Do's and Don'ts, except I won't try to crush your spirit and self-worth unless you send me something so horrible it's just BEGGING for it.

What can you NOT expect to see here?

-Generously paid-for plugs by high end designers looking for another digital mouthpiece.
-Mom-jeans, overalls, or t-shirts that say "I see dumb people" or "Git-R-Done"
-Your mom's underwear for sale (okay, i lied about this one. you should see the overhead i made on those white cotton ones)
-anything with an ICP logo

Well, with all that said, welcome, and look forward to seeing more of me in the very near future!

-Johnny "I'm new at this" Heartbreak